Ten Years of Marriage

On May 28th, 2004, I walked down the aisle to my future with Mike.  We had a small ceremony at Dallas Christian College in the chapel.  When I say small, I mean there were about 20 people in attendance.  We did have a reception about 2 weeks later at my folks' home in Farmers Branch.

We honeymooned in Red River, New Mexico (sorry can't find those pictures right now) and moved into our first home, an apartment off the Tollway and Frankford.

During those first two years of marriage, Mike was finishing his degree from Texas A&M - Commerce in Business Administration.  He worked at Blockbuster for the first six months of our marriage then got a job at UPS which would help pay his tuition.  We took a short trip to San Antonio for our 1st Anniversary (sorry, again no pictures).  We were active members of Valley View Christian Church, especially in the "Young Marrieds" Sunday School Class.  We became an aunt and uncle for the first time.  (again, can't find those photos).

In August 2006, we moved out of the apartment and into our home.

Mike graduated that December.

After graduation he got a job in Addison at Southwest Re.  I'm sorry to say I don't really know what he did.  In March of 2007, we welcomed our first child, Cocoa Bean, our chocolate lab.  

In 2008 we started talking about kids so we decided to take a vacation "just us" before we went down the road to Parenthood.  So where else should we go, but Walt Disney World?

2009 would be a year to alter our family forever, but not before a few before-kid-memories.  In January 2009, Mike surprised me with a weekend get away in Downtown Dallas.  We saw the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, the Nassar Sculpture Garden, and the King Tut exhibit.  

In February that year, along with learning we were expecting Mikaela, Mike broke his arm.  Then in May, we celebrated 5 years of marriage with a murder mystery dinner at The Gaylord  Texan and opened a time capsule filled with notes, well wishes and predictions friends and family had filled out for us at showers or the wedding reception.  

I turned 30 on September 26, 2009 and Mike threw me a surprise party.  It was so wonderful to see so many faces.  Several had traveled many miles to come.  It was so sweet of Mike to do this for me.

On November 2, 2009, we welcomed Mikaela Belle into our family.  Having a baby, we soon found out, was exhausting, challenging, and rewarding, all at the same time, but we love her so and she brings us such joy everyday.  

In 2010, as we adjusted to being a family of 3, Mike also decided it was time to make a career change.  He decided to work on an alternative certification for teacher and began subbing in the 2010-2011 school year.  This began a very trying time for us.  Finances were really tight and stress levels were high.  Mike worked practically every day, even landing a long term sub job, but with no real job prospects.  I turned to the Lord more than I think I ever have as we struggled to get through this phase of life.  I felt the prompting of the Spirit telling me to hang on because something big was coming.  I trusted as best I could.  On February 12, 2011 something big indeed happened.  We were in a car accident which would result in 3 surgeries, 2 1/2 months off of work, and 6 months of occupational therapy for me.  It was truly a test of faith and I'm thankful for it.  While I don't think God caused this accident, nor was this necessarily the "big something", but He used this situation to bless us in more ways than I could even count and I am so glad to have this as part of our testimony.  

In the midst of all my medical needs, Mike got a job at Med Assets (where he is currently), through a friend from church.  It was, and still is, such a blessing.  Mike finally felt like he has goals, direction, and a career.  We are so grateful for this opportunity.  Life seemed to have a bit of "normalcy" again.  We joined a new church family at The Branch in November.  We were even able to take a trip to NYC with my best friend and her family.  We saw the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, toured the city, visited with my cousin, a caught a fantastic Broadway show, Godspell.  

In 2012 we took a trip to San Francisco and the Bay area for a family vacation and a chance to visit with some VVCC friends who'd moved out there.  

It was just before that trip, we learned we were expecting Nicholas Graem.  On March 18, 2013 we welcomed him to complete our little family.  

We've done a few house projects, taken short excursions to see Moreland family in Kerrville, and Louisiana, and just generally enjoyed being a family.  We've made some amazing friends over the years and have a lot of great memories.  Things aren't perfect, but these last ten years have been overall, the best years of our lives. We can't wait to see what the next ten years have in store!  Thank you to everyone who loves and supports us as we journey through life.  

Conversations

At dinner one night, Mike and I were talking about our days while the kids were eating.  Mikaela was jabbering on about one thing or another, not really talking to us, just talking.   Mike said something, but I wasn't exactly sure what he said:

Donna: I'm sorry, Babe.  I didn't quite hear that.
Mikaela: Tor-teee-ya.  That's what I said.

Maybe you had to be there, but we both started laughing.  

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Graemma got Mikaela a car bingo game which she decided to play on the way to church this morning.  She would tell us what pictures we needed to search for and then we'd help her locate them (stop sign, traffic light, train, no parking sign, lampost, etc).  At one point she said, "We still need to find the word."  Perplexed, we asked her to spell it so that we could understand what word she meant.  "F-R-E-E. We have to find that."

Chuckle.  Perhaps we should explain what a "free space" is on Bingo.

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Standing on the train table Nicholas watched Mike walk upstairs.   "Da" he shouted repeatedly pointing toward the stairs.

Donna: Yes, Nicholas.  Where is Daddy?
Nicholas: Up

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Driving home the other day, Nicholas was holding Mikaela's baby doll in the car and repeatedly said "Baby, baby, baby".  I think that's our first real word (English, anyway).

14 Months Old

Nicholas is 14 months old.  Sometimes I feel like's he's still just a tiny baby, and sometimes I wonder where that little baby went.  He's definitely an active little boy.

Language:
Says: Da, uh-oh (when things drop, either accidentally or on purpose), Weeee (which he uses when we are in motion (in the car, stroller, or bike caddy)
Signs: more, all done, eat, milk
He babbles a lot.  I haven't really distinguished any words, but at times I do think he's saying words, just not completely clear yet.

Things he loves:
dancing
climbing
playing outside
balls
building with soft blocks or legos (usually only 2 blocks high)
knocking down everything built (whether he built it or not)
splashing at bath time

Food:  He is a little pickier than he used to be, but still a pretty good eater.  Of course, my comparison is Mikaela, the pickiest eater ever.  He loves fruit and crackers.

My Fitness Journey

I have decided to write out a few thoughts about my fitness journey.

I have always been blessed with high metabolism and staying thin wasn't hard.  In college I did put on weight (probably mostly because of age) but was still thin and really didn't work that hard to stay that way.  It wasn't until I was about 25 or 26 that I really started to notice that I had to watch what I ate as well as exercise.  I made a few minor changes in my diet as well as joined the city rec and that's about the extent of it.  I did a boot camp at 29, but even then, I never had dramatic transformations and I know it was because of diet.  I did little fad diets here and there, losing some weight for one event or another but nothing stuck.

At 29, I became pregnant with Mikaela.  I was sick and queasy for the majority of that pregnancy so I only gained 9 lbs total and she was 8.  Needless to say, I came home from the hospital weighing less than when I found out I was pregnant.  However, as with pregnancy, your body shape changes so I decided to start running to  combat that change.  I ran my first 5K when she was 4 or 5 mo old.  I really enjoyed it.  I started to eat better (a little) and the busyness of being a mom helped keep the weight off.  I was adding muscle and really feeling great.

Then we had a car wreck.  I was laid up for 8 weeks and would take time to get my strength back.  I lost a lot of weight, but of course lost muscle too.  Once I could, the workouts started again and overall so did the eating, though still not spectacular.

Now 32, 33, we were on track to have Nicholas.  Fortunately, Nicholas didn't make me feel as sick so I gained the typical 20-25 lbs.  After the initial loss from a baby, I was only about 10 lbs over where I started but absolutely no tone.   I did workouts when I could, but 2 kids and working full time (outside the home) is hard.  There are a ton of mothers who do it better than me, and I marvel at their success, but most days over the past year it was enough to just survive.

Well, Nicholas is almost 14 months, Mikaela is 4, I'm 34 and fighting the demons that tell me I'm not pretty.   The ones that tell me I"m fat.  The ones that tell me I can have one cookie because it won't really affect me, but the one turns into several.  I was trying as much as I could, but nothing seemed to work.  I was frustrated and feeling a little hopeless.

So... I started searching.  My main problem with food is know what the good food is.  I think I'm eating something healthy but then come to find out there was something better I should have eaten instead so I'm not really going to lose weight.  All the diets, fads, etc were seemingly contradictory and confusing.  I was overwhelmed.  I looked into Slim for Lilfe, and while I think it's a valuable program, I really had no interest in spending that kind of money to lose 20 lbs.  But, it helped me search more intently.

I came across this book about doing a 10 day detox.  I picked it up, read it, and really got into it.  I decided to do it starting this past Monday.  I won't say it's a failure, but it's not working for me.

1.  The supplements are too much.  I have trouble swallowing pills as it is, especially if I have to take them with water (which is all I can drink on this detox) so let's just say they all didn't make it.  That was day one.

2.  In addition, the breakfast smoothies are disgusting.  Mike and I got a vitamix a while back and have found some really great recipes full of fruits and veggies.  We've made adjustments here and there to reduce sugars (from juices or yogurt) but have been great.  The ones from the detox taste nothing like these.  So, 3 days have past with no breakfast because I just couldn't stomach the shakes.  So.. I know that not eating breakfast isn't going to help in the long run.  And after two days without it, I'm felt a difference in my body (and not in a good way).

3. The meals are delicious.  There are some good recipes and I am finding out some new foods I like that I didn't realize before.  However, they take a long time to prepare and make (even the "quick" ones) which means I spend more time in the kitchen cooking and/or cleaning which takes away all my time with my kids and my husband in the evenings.  Oh, and my kitchen is not clean, which drives me bonkers.  Isn't the detox supposed to relieve stress as well?  This is why I always did crockpot meals.  I even just recently picked up a cookbook full of "skinny" recipes for slow cooker because that appliance is how I survive these days (and keep from eating out).

4.  The detox urges getting sleep for 7-8 hours a night and then waking up in the morning to do 30 min of exercise.  I'm on board with the get up early to exercise (I was doing that 3 days a week anyway).  However, in order to get up in time to exercise, shower, get ready, get the kids ready, and get out the door, I'm up at 4:15.  For a seven hour sleep (and detox urges 8) I have to go to bed at 9.  Not that hard normally.  That's what I do. But that was before I spent my evening in the kitchen cooking and cleaning so couldn't really start to do other normal evening things required to get ready for bed (after the kids have gone down).  Oh and did I mention I'm supposed to take a  nice 30 minute relaxing bath before bed, too?  Sure, let me just fit that in.  Oh wait, there's a mountain of laundry that needs to be done.  A lot of good a detox does if I have no clothes.

So.. I'm a quitter.  I can't do the shakes or the supplements (without a glass of milk to choke them down) and I don't want to spend my entire evening in the kitchen.

But here's what I've learned:

I need to eat clean.  This failed attempt taught me a lot about foods that I should or shouldn't eat, how to prepare them, and what spices/oils to use.   Some of this I knew, but overall a good refresher with some new bonus info.  It's really helping me look at labels and ingredients and what goes into it all.

I still have questions and confusion though.  My detox was basically the Paleo diet (with almost no fruit).  I have a couple of friends on that diet and they look and feel amazing.  At first I was skeptical but in searching for healthy alternatives (especially in light of the fact that there is potentially diabetes in my genes) I got a little more on board with it.

I've also looked at other clean eating resources which have a few conflicting reports (in addition to things like what Slim for Life and places like that advertise).

So I'm still learning.  I don't need gluten free nor do I have a lactose intolerance so those issues are non-issues for me.  I'm not trying to consume or avoid them, it's just not something I have to really watch out for (in terms of discomfort from celiac's or intolerance).

I've also found a good bit of research on effective (and short) workouts.  Because let's face it, this mama don't' have time for the gym or big trainings or what not that keep me exercising and away from family for hours at a time.  30 minutes in the am and maybe 30 minutes in the evening is about all the time I have (at least during the school year).

Questions I still have:
What's the verdict on cheese?   I've seen reports that say string cheese is a healthy snack.  Some that say only eat cheese when you can really taste it.  Otherwise, don't waste the calories.  And then there are some that say, never eat it, it's dairy.
And what about legumes?  Some say yes, some say no.
And whole grains?  Personally, I'm not really a fan of them and would much rather eat a bread-less ground turkey or chicken patty than to eat a sandwich with whole grain bread.  So, taking that out of my diet wouldn't be all that tragic to me.  I would miss cereal though.

So if any of you have actually read this entire thing and have any tips/pointers/websites to share, I'll take them.  Here are two pictures taken recently that show some progress (before starting detox or anything like that).  The scale hadn't shown any difference, but looking at these, I guess I was doing something right.  So.. if you stuck with me through this long and monotonous post, thanks.  Through this all, I'm learning to view this in a Christian way.  My body is a temple for God and I want to treat it as such.  But I also don't want my food choices (good or bad) and my exercise regimen to become my idols.  I need to take care of myself and be healthy for me and my family, but my focus should be on Him.

January 2014

May 2014

Not a drastic difference (especially when comparing side views) but it's something.  I think I have better tools now to make an even bigger change.

Sunny Saturday

Saturday, May 3rd, was a gorgeous spring day and we took full advantage of it.

Saturday morning, I ran the Carrollton Trails 5K with friend and fellow Carrollton resident, Amy Hayes.  We have a very similar pace so she's a great running partner.  We pretty much stayed together the entire race.  It was great!

before the race

Bringing it home...

sprinting to the finish

all done with a time of 32:52

Mikaela, Nicholas, and Daddy walked out to meet us

My good friend, Courtney Holcomb came out to support me as well.  She had my students sign a poster for me.  It was a so thoughtful and a great way to finish the race!

a rose from Courtney & Mikaela

Saturday afternoon we took a family bike ride and tried out the bike caddy, we call "Trolly".  I don't know why.  As we were heading out for the first time, Mikaela cried out, "This is awesome!"  I imagine we'll have many family bike rides.

We rode over to our friends' house, but they weren't home so we took a picture on their porch.

Catching some zzz on the way home.  It's hard work watching Daddy bike us around.

We hope wherever you are, you enjoy pleasant weather and the nature created by a loving God.  Happy Spring!